The Mind Gone Mad

Alright. Not long ago, Fox ran a Family Guy Live special. It started Seth MacFarlane and Alex Borstein. At some point they talked about failed TV pilots that Fox never picked. It was all an obvious joke and a rather funny one. Here is the clip.

I watched this with my girlfriend and when it was over, I said I was determined to break it down and make sense of each line. They may all seem like contradictions, but if really dissected, sense can be found where normally there is none!

There was a man who shot the man who was a man who shot the man: Cal Johnson.

This is actually easy to figure out. There was a man. Let us assume this first man is Cal Johnson. This man shot a man who in turn shot a man who shot him. So basically, Cal Johnson was in a shooting duel with another guy and they both shot each other. Makes sense to me. If it just confuses you then oh well.

He wore a hat, his favorite hat, he loved that hat, he hated hats: Cal Johnson.

OK. This is a little more complicated, and open to interpretation. I chose to interpret it as the hat he wore had a sentimental value to him. He wore the hat, his favorite hat, he loved that hat. Perhaps given to him by someone he cared for. And perhaps overall, he hated hat, but this particular one who loved because of what it meant to him on a personal level.

It’s not that big of a stretch when you think about it. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Normally we tend to hate or dislike something with the exception of one thing in that group. Happens all the time. So why not with Cal Johnson and his hat? Are you saying he can’t have a personal memento left to him? Maybe someone he loved died! You’re saying he can’t have that?! You heartless fucker!

That’s my answer and I’m sticking to it…

He was a dad to zero kids and yet he fathered five.

This is easy. He fathered five kids, but was a dad to zero of them. Let’s assume he got five different women pregnant. Each gave birth. So that would be him fathering five kids. But was he a dad to any of them? Probably not. He gets the women pregnant then takes off. So he’s a dead beat, but at least there is sense to be made from it!

He got shot dead a year ago and yet he’s still alive.

OK. This might be easiest one. People can be declared dead then brought back to life. I understand it’s western setting, but it can still happen, dammit! Someone shot him, perhaps one of those women he knocked up. Can’t blame them. But unfortunately, Cal Johnson, though he technically died, was resuscitated and is still alive.

He’s rich beyond his wildest dreams yet never had a dime.

Oh come on. Do I really need to explain this? Rich beyond one’s wildest dreams is completely relative. Riding that horse, wearing that hat, and having sex with women he never sees again is exactly how he feels rich. Granted, getting shot isn’t so special, but hey, the man cheated death! So he’s technically broke on his ass. Who cares?! It’s a pretty sweet hat too.

A lawman to the very end, he led a life of crime.

He’s a lawman who doesn’t play by the rules. No wonder it’s a pilot that never got picked up. That’s a show that already exists 50 times over. He does illegal things to get the job done.

And yes, I know it wasn’t really a pilot. Didn’t I explain that already? Piss off!

In all his years of life on Earth, he never fired a gun. Yet when it came to Chinese men, he shot down everyone.

AHA! There are other things a person can shoot other than a gun. Like a bow and arrow. So NYAH!!!

He had a horse named Bandit, and the horse’s name was Clyde.

Well yeah. He HAD a horse named Bandit. And the horse (as in the horse we are seeing in the video) is named Clyde. What’s so complicated about that? Jeez, people. No wonder you need this break down. And yes, you do need it. If you’re still reading up to this point, you must really be lost. Or confused. Or bored. Or you’re just giving me the benefit of the doubt, but are all set and ready to rip me a new one with a comment. WELL I FUCKING DARE YOU! I’M NOT SCARED OF YOUR COMMENTS! I LAUGH AT YOUR POINTLESS WORDS OF WORDINESS!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh umm…sorry. Where did that come from? Moving on.

Cal Johnson was born the day he died.

You’ve got two options here. He either died on his birthday (not the actual particular day he was born) OR he had an awakening of sorts. A rebirth, an eye opening moment, a zen like moment, experienced nirvana, so on and so forth. Maybe he realized that his traveling around on a horse (named Clyde of all things) wearing a hat that he otherwise would hate, sleeping with women he barely knows and abandoning his kids has all been terrible. Maybe he saw the light. And then….mother fucker gets killed. Well that sucks.

SO THERE! Agree or not, it still adds up. It is at least seems plausible! WAAAAAAA-WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Gonna work on a potential new blog with Sarah. Will talk more about it soon. All I will say for now is it has to do with bunnies.

Is for bunnies?

Yankees Win!

WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Found a Team

I may have found a solution to filming stuff in game. Was introduced to a guy who knows how to record everything in game and we have a lot of the same ideas in mind. He has started his own Steam Group in hopes of putting together a film team. So we shall see how that goes.

Oh and the Yankees won!

Getting Bored with School

The title says it all. This is just an annoying semester that I want over. And I’m doing really well too. It just sucks, the teachers are a bit stupid, and I have lost interest. I’m working completely on will power at this point.

Oh and the Yankees won!

I Have a Headache Right Now

I do.

AND THE YANKEES WON!!!!!!!!!!!

Go Away

OK. Since Storm left his two stupid comments on my blog, it has been bothering me. Why? Because he was the one who told me we should go our separate ways. Then he comes here and gets in my face. Be a man of your word, dude. Just because your life has been fucked and you don’t know how to get over adversity doesn’t mean you have to drag other people into your own fucking misery. My only real concern is you don’t take Amy down with you.

So if you really want to talk, you know how to accomplish that. But don’t be a punk and have a random drive by and leave a comment on a blog because you were bored that day. Be a man. Leaving stupid internet comments is to be reserved for the 13 year old brats who don’t go outside.

There. That is out of my system. I actually do feel better.

Professor is Still a Cunt

Yup.

So Close

The Yankees are just a win away now. I would love this. Been waiting for another World Series win for a while. They have been battling all season and nothing ever comes easy in this game. So if anyone really wants to use the payroll card or steroids or anything else, go ahead. Rationalize all you like. I take nothing away from any other team’s wins, but if you helps you sleep at night, go for it.

My Back!

Helped my sister move….again. Do you know she has moved 4 times in the past 5 years and I have helped for 3 of them? Good fucking Lord. I already told her that I’m done. This was the last one. Especially since the next one would most likely be a move to Syracuse. I’m not taking part in that at all.

Games!!!!

My Christmas list is gonna be sweet this year. I’ve already ordered Left 4 Dead 2, but Check this list out for games that are either out or will be out come that time that I have not yet gotten nor plan to get yet:

-Batman: Arkham Asylum
-Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Smash-up
-Assassin’s Creed 2

That’s 3 games on two consoles, plus the soon to be released Left 4 Dead 2 on PC. I’m set for all of next year with those. OK, fine. Set until about May. But it’s been a long time since I’ve had a nice list like that. Should be sweet this winter break for me and gaming.

Video Clip of the Week

I left this out last week because I didn’t really have anything good, but I found this and I loved it.

He’s still awesome. Always has been, always will be.

Fin

Uh….yup.

I wasn’t sick last week for what should have been an update, but I was busy as fuck, I wasn’t 100% well, and I just let it pass. So here I am to finally get back at it.

Yankees

Back to the World Series. Finally! Been waiting for this for years. Gonna enjoy the match up of them and the Phillies. Should be some great game. That’s all I really got for now.

Umpires in Baseball

They suck ass. Anyone who watched this series between the Yankees and the Angels knows that those guys just couldn’t do the job. Instant replay has been needed in baseball for a long time. I can understand that people like keeping the game the traditional way, but you know what? Getting the calls right is far more important than keeping things traditional. People need to stop acting like adding technology to the game would be this sinful decision. It would only make things better.

The way to do it is simple. You have a computer call balls and strikes. They have those strike zone trackers that track every pitch wonderfully and instantly for those of us watching live on TV. It would take no effort to make it so those same trackers are the ones that call the balls and strikes of a game. With each pitch, the computer displays the call on a screen for all to see.

Next, you add a new position to each umpiring crew. Each crew has them rotate around the diamond from game to game. Well you add this extra position (possibly add a fifth umpire to each crew) and this position would be of a guy sitting in a booth, accessing all replays, anything close instantly becomes his call, he reviews everything he can as quickly as he can, he radios down to the rest of his crew, and that is the final call made. It’s the best way they can get it right. Why is this so hard? It’s not. Fuck off with any counter argument. It’s pointless.

My Professor is a Stupid Cunt

She is. That simple. She can’t teach, doesn’t give a fuck, and is a moron who rambles on about nothing. That is all.

The Winchester Gospel

I have converted another person into watching Supernatural. Draco has started watching and by her own admission, is really enjoying it. And she is only about 6 episodes into the first season. Just wait until…..oh. That’s right. I’m not supposed to spoil anything for her.

But I will say this! When she finishes out this season….she may need ice cream too.

The 10 lbs. Phone is Dead!

My dad finally got himself a new cell phone. He has had the same phone for over 10 years. The thing was a fucking brick that made calls. It was a monster phone that weighed about 10 pounds or at least it seemed. And now he has this new, tiny, nothing, basic phone. He hates it, but wanted to switch providers and couldn’t convert his phone. It is my prediction that he will either lose it or break it by mistake. Whichever one happens, I will laugh.

Giving Up

Oh yeah. The whole attempt on recording videos in game with Draco is probably not gonna happen. I can’t figure out how to make it work the way I want the settings to be. I can get close, but not quite. It sucks. So I’m just gonna play and enjoy. So far, so good.

Done

No really…..DONE!

Not gonna make an update tonight. I feel a bit under the weather. Will try when I feel better.

Baseball

There is a reason to be excited about baseball in New York again, and this year it has nothing to do with the Mets’ season coming down to the last game just for them to blow it. My God, could you imagine if they did that for the third year in a row? Mr. Met would have to hang himself.

No no no. This year, the Yankees are back in the playoffs. First team to clinch a playoff spot, have the best record in baseball, and for several reasons, I have good feelings about their first round chances. Because that it is what it mainly comes down to: that damn first, best of 5 round. It’s so short that anything can happen. The worst team in baseball can beat the best in that kind of situation. How many times this year did some shit record, nothing team beat the Yankees 2 outta 3? That’s all it takes if you just miss or don’t have it that day. But I like the Yankees’  chances this time.

Whether it be the Twins or the Tigers, I think they have a good shot. I prefer the Twins. Mostly because they have no won a game in the Bronx in years. Yes, years. It’s a stat like that I like. But even so, the Tigers would be a good match up simply because they have been terrible lately. When a team stumbles into the playoffs (like they might), it usually means they will have  quick exist.

But of course, you never know. For all I know, either one of them can beat the shit out of the Yankees. Things like that have happened over the last few years. Still, I’m excited.

Supernatural

This is not just a TV show anymore. It’s a series of weekly epic events. Misha Collins is hilarious in his serious portrayal of Castiel. Jensen Ackles is once again acting his ass off. And Jared Padalecki has even stepped up his game a bit. I don’t want to take anything away from him and his work, but for me, I’ve viewed him as the weak link. He’s great in the action scenes, getting angry, and especially playing someone evil, but when it comes to the painful, sad moments, he doesn’t pull it off. His face looks weird and his tears seem fake. He makes me feel awkward when he has those scenes.

Meanwhile, Jensen rips my heart out when he has those types of scenes (yes, I am male and yes, I am straight…..STOP GIGGLING, DENISE!). He also does fantastic during all the other scenes. He, to me, is a complete actor, whereas Jared is not quite.

But I still wouldn’t change this show a bit. I don’t care about those hit or miss episodes that missed. Hell, I’ll even take the failure of an ending that was “Bugs”. Because it has all led up to where they are now. After the garden scene in “The End”, I have complete confidence in wherever they take this show.

It’s kinda like the ending of Jaws. We’ve all seen it, the oxygen tank, “smile you son of a bitch,” big explosion. It’s awesome. But it is completely unrealistic. That was something Spielberg was told when he was planning to do that scene. His response was that if people were watching the movie until that point and with everything else that had happened, they would believe that ending. And he was right. We love that ending, we cheer at that ending. I still stop to watch it if I happen across just those last few minutes when flipping through the channels. And now I feel like Supernatural is heading in that type of direction. Whatever they have planned, I’m going to buy it and love it.

School

It’s a lot of work. It’s keeping me busy. Moving on.

Comedy Work

Draco and I have been messing around with the idea of making our own videos in Left 4 Dead. It’s not something that hasn’t been done before. In fact, in the less than a year the game has been out, it has happened a lot. But still, it is a concept that intrigues us. So I’ve been messing around with Fraps (a program that records your game play) I just need to get the audio correct. I can with a weird two computer set up, but I’m not really loving it.

After last night, I really feel like it is something we need to do. I had the best gaming experience with these new friends of mine and one of the best ever. It reminded me of the old days with the old crew, but perhaps even better. Because it was just pure fucking around that seemed to happen all by itself. I have no doubt that we will do it again. Hopefully, I can get it recorded. We shall see. But basically, it is my making good on a promise to myself to keep going with the random videos.

Random Vid of the Week

If I have one worth showing, I will post a video I come across. This week, it is a no brainer. It is exactly why I love YouTube. It’s complete bullshit and it makes me laugh every time. I’ve been showing it to everyone I can so odds are you have seen it. But watch again anyway. You’ll probably laugh again. And I just want to thank the person who made it. You are hilarious, sir.

In Closing…

Nope. That’s all.

So here it is. Aside from the random post that comes to mind, I’m gonna be giving weekly updates on….anything. Anything that comes to mind, anything at all. Topics that interest me whether it be movies, TV, baseball, games, shit I did with my friends. Whatever I want. So there.

I’ll try to keep up with this as best I can. Expect them to come each Sunday.

I keep coming back to this blog hoping I can force myself to write something, but nothing ever comes out beyond a title with no meaning. I’ve changed the theme to something I certainly enjoy much more, and am now trying to figure out where to go from there. I might sit down and actually begin categorizing each entry and adding tags. That was something I never did in the past because I’m lazy like that.

But I think I can perhaps still do something with this sucker. Nothing I want to explain right now, but I’m certainly rolling ideas around in my head.

Definitely expect more soon.

IT’S DONE!

My girlfriend, Sarah, and I started this very long cleaning project of her apartment back around the end of May / beginning of June time period. It was something I warned that would take several months to do, but even I did not envision it to be the whole fucking summer. But today we finally finished the damn thing. Well mostly. All that remains are some finishing touches.

This was a project that was centered around cleaning, rearranged, and reorganizing her room. But to do that, I said we needed to first start with this room she has on the second floor of the apartment that was being treated like an attic. And it was full of junk. And I mean full of junk. Imagine a cheesy sitcom episode where the family cleans out their recently deceased father’s attic and it’s just wall to wall, floor to cleaning, piles of crap. That was this room.

That was what took pretty much the vast majority of our time. We filled and threw out at least 50 garbage bags (probably more) of junk, plus more that we piled into cardboard boxes that got thrown out, and finally just things that were so large we just threw them out as they were. Like broken old stereos, chairs, a leaking air conditioner, and 7″ tall dividing screens. And that’s really only naming a few things.

After all that, more than half the room was now available. The point? We needed room to move much of her own junk from her room up into there. Most notably, her hundreds of various books. I’m not exaggerating. Sarah is a bookworm and has hundreds upon hundreds of books. Novels, manga, comics, magazines, texts, dictionaries, picture books, children’s books, it goes on and on……

Her father and I eventually moved two very large book cases from her room up into this room. That was the key. We needed those damn things out of her room to free up space. We got the second one up last night. I went over there today at about 3:30 when no one was home and started early because I knew it was possible to finish. I didn’t think of it until I was nearly done, but I should have taken photos of her room before I started in and then taken some after just to show the huge difference.

That thing was filthy too. Sarah has a pet rabbit so there was hay everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I would move a dresser and there was nothing but hay behind it. Moved her bed, and hay was behind it. Moved her desk and oh yes, hay was behind there too. Not to mention lot shit load of dust and all kinds of assorted crap.

But it is over. It’s all rearranged and I can’t even believe we pulled it off. I’m just amazed she never gave up. Because there were times when I started to crack. And I love cleaning. Really love cleaning. Many of my friends have questioned my heterosexuality (not joking) because of my love for cleaning and how fussy I can get over it. But there were times when it just seemed too big. Too much. Soooooo much junk. Stuff I don’t even want to write about. It was just so much crap. But it’s done. And we are both happy.

All that really remains is getting a new rug and full size bed (something she wants very much).We do have plans to keep going around the rest of the apartment because it too could use a good cleaning (her dad is….how should I put this…..a slob!) But I’m happy with what we’ve done right now. And so is she. It was the main goal. For now? I am gonna go pass out as it is currently 2:10am and just got in a little while ago from all this.

Man….my back might be screaming at me at working tomorrow. Fuck….